A long distance
relationship is difficult, but nowadays, technology makes it somewhat
bearable. Cellphones and computers allow friends, families or lovers to chat
and see each other at any time of day or night, and in the privacy of their own
rooms, or even cars (Just don’t drive and text). And while we need to pay for Internet or
cellphone service, connecting to another anywhere in the globe is actually free
with Facetime, Viber, Hangout or Skype.
In the early 1970’s,
when John was courting me (in those days, men courted women and we never
said “when WE were courting …”), John’s
mother did not approve of me because I was encouraging him to work as a
photographer, which meant that he was not paying attention to the family
business. To separate us, she sent him off to Iloilo to stay with his sister.
Now, in those days, there was no Internet, email or Skype, there were no
cellphones or even pagers, and public coin-operated phones were just for local
calls. Mailed letters took a long time, so any messages that needed to be
rushed were sent by telegrams.
My family was poor and
we did not have a phone at home. If John wanted to call me, he would have to
call my aunt’s house, which was next door, and wait for someone, usually my
aunt’s maid or houseboy (then called servants) to call me and for me to rush to
my aunt’s house. With cousins practically eavesdropping, there was no chance
for John and I to say sweet nothings to each other. Besides, in those days, telephones
had party-lines, meaning, two phone owners, usually neighbors, took turns in using
one phone line. As a matter of phone courtesy, when one lifts the handset and
hears someone talking, that person must put the phone down gently, and wait. If
you’re the one using the phone, sometimes, it meant hearing that handset being
lifted and put down over and over again, and when the other party becomes
impatient, they say “Hello, party line, puede ba ako naman (may I have my
turn?) There was no way to stay on the
phone a long time to make “telebabad” (staying too long on the phone).
It was too embarrassing
to use my aunt’s phone to call long distance, so for calls that I would have to
initiate, I would have to go to the Philippine Long Distance Company office in
Port Area, near the foot of Jones Bridge (two jeepney rides or approximately
five kilometers from Paranaque, where I lived).
There were booths there, and callers were guaranteed not only soundproofed
privacy, but also no party lines waiting on the wing for me to finish my call.
But long distance calls were expensive, and I did not have the money to make
such calls.
Before he left for
Iloilo, and anticipating the difficulty of keeping in touch given that I did
not have a phone at home, John agreed to my romantic suggestion to connect
somehow by agreeing to gaze at the sky, and look for Orion’s Belt (a row of
three stars) at the same time every night at exactly 7:00PM. We synchronized
our watches. There no cellphones or Internet, it is true, but what we had was a
direct connection, soul-to-soul through the stars, it was private, and it was
free. Who needs Skype?
John eventually came
back to Manila. We set up Adphoto, got married, and raised three daughters.Today, we connect with our children, relatives, friends and each other through Skype, Google Hangout, Viber, Facebook or FaceTime and marvel at how technology keep us connected; but once in a while, through the
more than 40 years since the 1970’s, when John and I look up at darker
provincial skies (disappointingly, Metro Manila’s pollution and bright city
lights obscure views of Orion’s Belt), we give thanks that when we did not
have Internet or Skype in the 1970's, we had the stars in the sky to give us direct connections and clear signals.
